Are you thinking about a nursing home placement for elderly parents, a friend or a spouse? If someone you care for is finding things harder than they used to, or can no longer live safely or comfortably at home, you might feel that a move into an aged care home could be the best next step for them. But what if that person doesn’t feel the same way? What’s the best way to talk about aged care and find the right help?
Starting the conversation with your loved ones
Step one in any conversation about care is to speak with the person who might need aged care. This shouldn’t be a case of simply persuading elderly parents to move into aged care. Instead, it should be a conversation with your parent or loved one about how to find the best help for their needs. Here are some tips to get started.
Pick your moment
The decision to access aged care support can be an organic process that takes place over many conversations. Sometimes, a rapid change in health or wellbeing might lead to a faster decision, but even in this case there’s the opportunity to pick the best time for a conversation. Try to choose a time when everyone is relaxed and well rested, and don’t try to make a decision all at once.
Be informed
It can help to know about all the options for aged care support in Australia before sitting down for a discussion with your loved one. You might plan to:
- Gather information on all of the different options for aged care support including residential, respite and home care – we’ll discuss these more in a moment.
- If residential aged care could be a good next step, try to collect some information or brochures on aged care homes in your local area to get a feel for them.
- Compile a list of the support that could help your loved one with their independence. For example: cleaning, cooking, shopping or personal care. This can help when accessing support.
Your loved one should be treated as foremost decision-maker about their own care. If you feel your loved one is losing or has lost the capacity to make this decision, a visit with their GP may be the next best step.
Visit aged care homes together
If residential aged care is likely to be a good option for your loved one, visiting aged care homes in your area can be a great way of exploring the many benefits. It can help to take your loved one to as many aged care homes as they want to see, and explore the possible advantages of:
- A warm and welcoming home
- Greater opportunities for social connection
- Improved safety and 24/7 access to care
- Fun activities, and the ability to join these easily
- Fewer responsibilities – i.e. no more cleaning!
You could ask about the lifestyle programs, explore the grounds and rooms, and request to visit the dining room to explore what the menus might look like. Afterwards, it can help to discuss how you both felt about the staff, the sense of community and the surroundings. Then if you can, give your loved one time to process these visits.
Empathise
Many people find the thought of moving into an aged care home daunting at first – and this is completely normal. Keep the focus on your loved one, what’s going to provide the best support for them, and allaying any worries they might have. Take their concerns seriously, and discuss these in detail.
Within a family or friend group there can also be many thoughts and dynamics at play. Perhaps one sibling feels the time has come for Mum to move into care, while another feels differently. It can help to remind everyone that the decision is ultimately about your loved one and their wellbeing. Above all else, involve your loved one in decisions about their own care.
Get a second opinion, or more
Sometimes people can feel resistant to a suggestion about getting help. In these cases it can help to refer to a third party such as the person’s GP, a trusted friend or spiritual leader for their opinion and advice. Hearing thoughts from someone trusted can help to provide different perspectives and shed new light on any concerns.
If your loved one has friends already in aged care, you might be able to ask them about their experiences and any recommendations. It may also be reassuring for your loved one to speak to their lawyer or financial advisor, to discuss any practical matters.
Reasons your loved ones might want to avoid moving to aged care
There can be a variety of reasons someone might feel hesitant about moving to an aged care home. Understanding these reasons can help you to assure and support your loved one in the best way possible. Here are some of the most common hesitations.
Personal reasons
Perhaps your loved one has concerns about losing freedom, independence or their meaningful social connections. Maybe they are afraid they won’t be able to do the things they love to do, like gardening or art gallery visits. This may be a good chance to explore the lifestyle programs on offer, and speak with aged care homes about their care approach. For example, at Aurrum we use a person-centred approach to empower residents in aged care so they maintain choice and control over their life.
Financial reasons
Financial concerns can be common when it comes to moving into aged care. Some people may worry about needing to sell their home, while others might be concerned about being able to pay for good care. Fortunately, the Australian government can subsidise aged care for those who need assistance. It can help to arrange a visit to a financial advisor at this stage, to get to know about common aged care fees, and explore your loved one’s eligibility for government-subsidised care.
Perceptions around aged care homes
There have been lots of reports about poor quality aged care in recent years, and this may have contributed to a negative impression of homes and carers for your loved one. If this is a concern, then visits to aged care homes can help. It’s also helpful to brush up on the new broad changes for the aged care sector. Not only have the new Aged Care Quality Standards been improving the standard of aged care across the board, but modern providers like Aurrum offer excellent facilities and superb care with a holistic approach and support for reablement in aged care. These are certainly not the ‘old people’s homes’ of yore!
Understanding all options for aged care
Instead of simply convincing elderly parents to move into an aged care home, it’s important to understand and discuss all of the options that are available. Aged care support could include:
- Home care, which can be ideal for people who just need a little extra help at home with things like cleaning, shopping or daily care.
- Respite care, which is short-term care that’s helpful if someone is recovering from a hospital stay, if a carer needs a break, or if a person wants to try out residential aged care for a short time.
- Residential aged care, which offers 24/7 care and is ideal for those who can no longer live independently at home.
An assessment with My Aged Care can help you choose the best course of action for care.
Assessing needs before moving into aged care
My Aged Care is an ideal place to begin when accessing aged care in Australia, as this government service is designed to provide aged care guidance and support. You can apply with My Aged Care for an assessment with an Aged Care Assessment Team, known as an ACAT (or ACAS in Victoria). Your ACAT or ACAS will ask you and your loved one about what support might be needed, and can help to identify whether home care, respite care or residential aged care might be the best course of action. This process can also help you find out if your loved one is eligible for government-subsidised care.
Visit the My Aged Care page for carers >
Find an aged care home that suits your loved ones
Aurrum Aged Care provides exceptional aged care at various purpose-built care homes across NSW and Victoria. If you are in the process of moving elderly parents into a retirement community or aged care, we are always available to answer your questions about the transition to aged care. We can also arrange personalised tours at any of our locations. You are most welcome to contact us on 1800 287 786, or to email your enquiry.